Pwned again

When my 20 year old son told me last year that he and his girlfriend were planning to have a baby, I was happy. It was good news to hear from a son who had been into drugs, trouble with the police and had stolen money from me in order to pay for his habit. Instead of choosing to turn my back on him I stood by him and gently coaxed him into a new direction. It took alot of persistance. He left school and got a job as a pot washer and worked his way up to waiting on. It finally sunk in and he started to not 'hang out' with those so called influencing friends. He then moved work places where he still waits on but has now become fully trained as a bartender. I'm told he practically runs the place!
This is where he met his girlfriend who is 5 and a half years older than he is. She has a son who was about 3yrs when they met. He immediately called my son 'Daddy' and the role was taken on with some serious gusto! The little man also calls me Nana, so i've been getting use to being a 'Granny'.
Last year I received a text message informing me that I was going to be a granny. I was so happy for them but my heart stretched a little everytime I gave it some thought because I wouldn't get to see the baby very often due to distance.
The nine months passed quickly and Harry James Lucas arrived a week late at 10.23am on 25th June 2009 weighing exactly 8lbs. My son had been calling and texting me the moment contractions had started.

I cried when he sent me Harry's first picture when he was 1hr old. It now has pride of place on my desktop so he's the first thing I see when I switch the pc on. He looks so much like his Aunty Ruby.
Do I feel any different now im a Grandmother? Not at all.

I went down the garden to give my worms a tasty offering of peelings and noticed what I first thought was a cat asleep. Normally a cat would get up and run off as they tend to do here. As I looked at it I noticed its little fluffy tail. Ah, I thought, it's a dead bunny and looking at the other end of it I saw it had no head. Lovely.
Judging by the colour of it (white & grey) I deduced it was someones pet. Knowing that next door but one had rabbits, I went round too ask them if they had one missing. No answer. They must have gone away for the weekend. Next door always look after the rabbits when next door but one go away, so I waited for them to come home as they were out.
Kev came home from work and looked at the headless rabbit. 'Looks like someone has hidden it.'
I suggested a fox, adding that it would be back in the night to pick up the rest of it. If not he'd be cleaning up the body the next day.

Next door were home, so I knocked. Mr next door answered the door and I asked him what colour next door but ones rabbits were. 'Grey, ooh have you found it? Because we've been looking for it all day.'
'Yes' I said 'it's erm...well...headless'
'Ah'
'I'll leave you to give the news to next door but one.'

Kids were trying to move it with a plastic seaside spade when I got back into the garden. Sigh. What is it with kids and dead things?

Next day the headless bunny had gone. Mr Foxy left a present on the lawn. Thank you Mr Foxy for using my garden as a larder and a toilet. You are most welcome.

Did my monthly online shop with Tesco for a change. So ordered Friday morning for delivery Saturday between 3-5pm. Clicked the box not to have bags and earned 8 green points, whatever that means.

Saturday came and at 3.09pm my phone rang. It was the Tesco delivery guy. He asked me where in Ellesmere Port was xxxxxxx Street as he couldn't find it in the A-Z. I told him it wasn't in EP but in Loughborough. He said in that case he was 'very sorry but he couldn't deliver my shopping.' I said that wasn't on as I wanted my dinner for Sunday.

Called Tesco customer services, got through straight away which makes a change. Asked them why they had sent my shopping to EP. Nice girl said my old address wasn't even listed anymore and couldn't understand why it had gone to the Heswall branch. So anyway she re-ordered and refunded me £10 after telling me it might take 2 weeks before the cost of the shopping that went on a mystery tour would be refunded. Shopping due to arrive between 11-1pm Sunday.

10.45 Tesco calls. My debit card refused payment. Aghhhh. Of course it did. Said amount went out yesterday you bafoons and was then refunded so they not likely to let same amount go out again are they?!!!
So I gave them another card to use.

12.50pm Tesco van turns up with my shopping.....all in plastic bags *sigh* and no haggis!! Order of 2 haggis had been substituted with 2 black pudding. I like black pudding but it's not exactly haggis, is it? Told the lady driver I wasn't having the black pudding so she took it off. Probably be 2 weeks before I get refund.

Then she askes me how many bags I have to recycle! I said 'Look, I didn't ask for bags, I opted out of bags.

And how can I have bags to recycle when the shopping is still in them?

Sunday dinner was yummy.

I just caught GMTV for a few minutes this morning and listened to Penny with news that Spice Girl Mel C & her partner of six years, are expecting her first baby. This will be the seventh baby addition to the girl band. It was suggested that they get a spice rack!

TV turned off now and the pc is on (obviously)and I have so much to do. Ruby and Jim have another week off school and you can tell. Constant bickering! So I can't concentrate and for the first time ever (eldest is 21) I can't wait for school to begin. I just want my routine back.

I've spent two days waiting for RM to redeliver two parcels. These should have arrived on Wednesday and after no sign of them yesterday I called up the local office to be told that my man had called in sick that morning and they were short staffed and would try to deliver today. So another day waiting in and i'm still left wondering what happened on Wednesday if he wasn't sick til Thurs...

Wow doesn't time fly. Best fill you in.

Last court session awarded me custody (He gave in) and 50%. By March 31st Kev and I had found a house to rent in Loughborough with Ruby and Jim and Harriet came too and the boys stayed with their father because they both have jobs. I do miss the boys, but I speak to them by phone and net.

So how is life in Loughborough? Its fantastic. Kev is definetly my soulmate!

Jim was ill with chicken pox and Ruby seemed to show all the symptoms except for the spots. Needless to say both were absent from school for a little over a week, which left us housebound for a few days.
During this I had to go to court. Spent most of the day there. Everything seemed to go as I expected with His agreeing not to contest to the children and I moving as long as I excepted 50%. I said we were not there to discuss finances, only custody and permission for me to leave the area. The judge set an order for us to appear in court next month, for one last time to finalise everything. Which was silly because the whole point of the last judge ordering me to go for custody, was so that the finances could be sorted at a final hearing. Point being that if I can't leave the area I would stay in the house. If I can leave then He would buy me out.

So am I being greedy asking for 60%? Taking into consideration that he has sold 2 of the vehicles that we owned and had the 2k claimed from bank charges on our joint account. He has a pension which im not interested in and has been basically living here for free for over 12months while i've tried to cover everything with Income Support, Child Tax Credit and Child Benefit. He's still paying off debts at the reduced rate inspite of being in work. Which I will have to pay half of the outstanding amounts.

Having said all this, He has been very reasonable the last few weeks. Even paid for shopping and put money towards gas and electricity. And there is a reason for this.

You see after all the hassel he gave me over meeting K on the net and how I couldn't possibly know him properly,(It's been over 8yrs since I first became friends with him and 12mths since we met in person as more than a friend.)or have any real feelings for him, He has met a lady from Ghana. This relationship started at the beginning of November when she contacted him on a dating site and has progressed to talk of getting married. She is even coming here (Yes here, at our house!!!) to stay, arriving on 23rd and leaving on about the 2nd to return to London where she is supposed to have a flat and a job!

We are supposed to be going to my mother's for Christams Tea. However I did say that I thought it was a bit much for her to go. She would be made welcome, but I thought it was brave of her to come to Him and stay in the house with His X wife and children and don't think that tea with his X wife's family was appropriate. Thankfully he agreed.

Am I mad to let her stay? He would never let K into the house. I'm not a mean, nasty person (in spite of what He may say) but I do see this as an advantage that I can use in court if I need too. In the meantime, lets see how it goes with this woman who is 10yrs younger than me and who we (older children and I) think is after his money.

Ruby has just come out in chicken pox. Last day of school...ah well.

Or is this another ploy to lull me into a false pretence.

He finally bought a new oven. Woo hoo roast dinners for everyone!!

He sent a cheque off for the mortgage, then promtly told me it would take us into the overdraft until I put money into the bank account. When I asked Him about paying me the money He's been ordered to pay, He muttered something about sorting tax credits. He says He feels hard done by because He's got to pay 2/3 of the mortgage, council tax and pay me £285 towards food and bills. I asked Him how He was going to cope after i'd left as He would have to pay for everything then. After a conversation with Him about the little ones and custody, He announced He wouldn't even be attending court to contest as the sooner I move out the better. Then He changed His mind and said He wouldn't contest if I took 50% instead of 60%. Nothing new here. He always changes His mind within 5 minutes.

I can hazard alot of assumptions here about what He may or may not be up too.

He's been chatting to a lady from Ghana, who contacted Him via a dating site. She's informed him that she has a flat in London and a job, but is at home at the moment looking after her sick mother. My assumption here is that He's probably already sent her money for her mother's hospital bills and is now looking to either fly over to Ghana to meet her in person or have her fly over here. I think He'll fly over there and this is why He's quibbling over 10%.

I expect He reads this blog.

Meanwhile K and I are closer than ever. Even with the miles inbetween us. He has booked a hotel in Chester for 3 nights early in the new year for the four of us (2 little ones) and the aim will be to spend some more time with the little ones and meet my parents.
He sent an absolutely wonderful present for my birthday yesterday. A special limited edition of The Children of Hurin by Tolkien.I was speechless.

On a lighter note, Jim said he wanted to be a zombie when he grows up.I explained that this wasn't possible so he asked if he could have one as a pet as Micheal Jackson has lots.

The colours of the leaves this year seem to be extremely vibrant. I was thinking of taking some photographs, but on Monday afternoon after a quick downpour the trees seemed to have shed their leaves all in one go. Not unlike The Womping Willow at Hogwarts. So no pictures. On the good side it does mean that there are lots of lovely leaves to pick up and take home. Try explaining to Jim that we don't want soggy, mangled leaves or yucky brown ones. He likes to collect stones and sticks of all shapes and sizes and also the elastic bands that the postmen drop on the ground.

The week has been good. He has met someone from Ghana on the internet and this means he's in a good mood and too busy chatting to her to annoy me. He's even appologised for His payments being late. Still waiting though.............

K sent me some poems. He always sends poetry and I love it. K even sent me a 'Thinking of you card' which brought a tear. I find myself thinking about him all the time. I was hoping that my cousin would drive the little ones and myself down to Loughborough for the day this Saturday, but she may be working. I haven't seen him since August and it doesn't look like we'll have a chance of seeing each other until after New Year.

I always cook a Sunday lunch, except now the oven doesn't work and I refuse to buy another when i'm not going to be living in the house.
I use the hob and the microwave and although a micro'd chicken doesn't taste quite the same as an oven roasted one, it's not too bad.
Considering how much I bake, the oven not working as come as a bit of a loss. However I can use the breadmaker to bake bread and cakes and the microwave is fairly adaptable. We will feel the loss at Christmas. I'm going to have to buy alot of the food I usually make. Ah well.
Today Ruby, Jim and I went to a friends house and had a brilliant Sunday lunch. Not just because it was cooked in an oven, but because I didn't have to cook it!

It's something I think about recently. More so about my X and His lack of.

Take for instance court last month where we spent over 4 hours sat in rooms while our barrister's negotiated until finally we agreed on something. Then we went before the Judge where everything we agreed on was repeated by my barrister and His barrister agreed that his client agreed and then the Judge agreed. You get the gist?
What did we agree on? Well He is to pay 2/3 of the mortgage and the council tax (currently I get these paid for being on income support) and I continue to pay 1/3 of the mortgage. He is to pay £285 into my account on the 1st of the month. This is £200 for food and £85 towards household bills.
Needless to say He hasn't paid anything and says He didnt agree to it. He did suggest I give him my shopping reciepts and then He would give me cash for half. This is because he thinks I don't spend £100+ per week on food/groceries. Well I would like to see him shop for seven for a week and see how much it comes too!

I didn't really expect Him to pay anything. Why should He change now just because of a court order.

In the meantime He's mad at me because I've asked for 60% (instead of the original 50% if the house was sold)seeing as He is going to buy me out. No selling expenses and the amount outstanding on current mortgage goes down every month. Also with the three elder children (all over 17 years) staying here at the house, I can't very well take all the furniture and leave them with nothing. Does 60% seem reasonable? Seeing as He also had all the cash from bank charges from our joint account that we won back (2.5k) and He hasn't paid anything towards food/house/bills since He moved back into the house last November.
Also got to take into account that once He's paid me I won't be able to claim income support anymore, will have to rent a house until i've found work and and bought a house. Argggggghhhh.

Social services finally phoned after a year of waiting. I told the guy who called that he was a bit late, updated him on the past year and told him I was going for residency. He told me there would be no problem with me getting custody and moving and they would write this in their report when CAFCASS get in touch with them.

Jake bought me flowers yesterday. He hasn't been the nicest of teenagers for a few days and it was his way of saying sorry. I said the flowers were great, however that fact that he'd noticed he'd been a pain in the arse was even better.

It's also October, which means Harriet is having her 'low' at the moment and this doesn't bode well for any of us. She has been to the Drs to ask for help.

I suppose I should go clean up the breakfast mess.........